MORE THAN 70

Is age just a number?

I’m watching the Grammys and I’m loving the country music gals singing so beautifully and remembering it wasn’t always cool to love country music.

But then in my family it wasn’t cool for me to even have a voice.  I was the forgotten sister of Britain’s most controversial billionaire and my place was to stay in the shadows and keep quiet.  I truly thought I wasn’t even allowed to have an opinion. I just found out I can, and I’m free.

Now I can do anything I like.  I’ve been so busy not being 72 I almost missed what’s possible.  I have limited time left and I can do anything I like from now on.  Always could, just didn’t know it, nearly missed the moment.

I can wear what I like, get a tattoo, already got a nose piercing in India, where I sat at the feet of the guru.  I can sleep with who I like, always did, now I don’t have to feel bad about it anymore.  Double standard, I’m a slut if I sleep around, men whoa do your thing.

I can be vegan and not care what anyone thinks, shift weights, go Joan, speak my truth just done that with my memoir `Not in the Script’.  Feel loved, wanted, trusted.

I just closed my restaurant, now I can start another business, I can learn how to really do it.  What you say, why aren’t I sitting knitting?

Even my sister-in-law, the rich one laughed when I once mentioned knitting.  The same one who agreed I wasn’t stupid even though I wasn’t good enough to join most of their family celebrations.

So I’m short, white, privileged, an Englishwoman in New York and now I’m old.  I’ve just been outed.  Talked up a storm with a lovely man in England and yesterday he found out my age.  I wasn’t hiding it, it just never came up and he was shocked.

Funny thing is I never talk about my age, in my heart I’m 21.   Well I’m 72 everybody, and still me I told him.  Same woman as last week, still warm and wonderful and beautiful and funny.  Just me.

Look everyone I’m the face of Sex and the City at 70.  Not just the outside but the inside too.  Of course I won’t be around then so I’m going to give you a quick glimpse now.

Who said only men like sex?  Who said only men think about sex?  Men said that, to make themselves feel important and special.

Sex makes me feel alive, and wanted and relaxed, it’s my heroin, my vodka and much less addictive.

Do you know men on some of the dating sites I frequent put their age up, not down.  Why?  Seems they want to be with older women, someone told them how fabulous we are, and, no birth control needed.

I had one in the summer, well not `had’ in the biblical sense, but I met a `47’ year old who turned out to be 32 and knew I wouldn’t give his profile the time of day.

And now I discovered that no is the new yes.  I mean no I’m not interested in meeting you, said over the internet, Zoom or Facetime.  No is still no for unwanted sexual advances.

So when I told him I’m not interested he bombarded me, until I ended up with dick pics.  No I’m not affronted, just amused, slightly titillated and shush…..flattered too.

After all, of course I want to be wanted.

Was I really a housewife in leafy suburban London some years ago? No it’s not a myth the streets are lined with trees, and I was responsible for the tree outside my house..

I keep explaining to people after my sojourn in India there was just as much sex behind the curtains in north London, as in India at the ashram among the sannyasins, as I meditated with Bhagwan Rajneesh.  Yes, he was known as the `sex guru.’

True I took being married seriously, sadly, but seriously for 23 years.  Loved my kids and stayed there to have them be grown. But afterwards, it was my time, fun time.  My young long time Sri Lankan friend came over and celebrated his crush on me and we made love.   He was sweet and soft and and thrilled and happy!  Me too!  Still friends.

 When I came back from India I went to a commune in Devon.  The encounter group was run by a charismatic black American man.  On the last night as the group ended  I took a lovely `boy’ to my bed.  He was 18, I was 33, I was his first sexual encounter.  We had a great time, delicious deep in the countryside, we awoke to birdsong outside the window.

No shame or embarrassment here, this was an open place, a place to be self-expressed.  Next morning his father greeted me and thanked me.  I felt a little discomforted as his Trinidadian father was a church minister.

`Thank you so much for teaching him and taking him under your wing, I just want to thank you.’

I was in awe of his generosity.  His kindness and acceptance.

So let’s not talk about age.  Because in my heart I’m still young. Most of my new New York friends are younger than me.

This is not my country of birth.  I arrived knowing no-one, a fabulous new start, no history.  I never liked Englishmen, now I had Americans.

In August 2017 I met a young African American guy at his job, they called him upstairs to come and quell the upset I was having, stop the scene I was creating.

My left brain was intent on causing havoc, my right brain, if that’s the right way round, was noticing how attractive he was.  He noticed me too.

Three years later we are still friends, and yes he’s stayed many nights.  He was my visitor during lockdown last year from March to July.  My `booty’ call as they called it on `Sex and the City.’

Saved my life, I like, I need to be hugged and kissed and made love to. Yes, and you should have seen his beautiful honed body, strong muscles, luscious lips. I thanked God often.

Men how should we treat them?  It’s no different from when I was 21, same conversation in my head.

I just downsized apartments in my building.  Needed a handyman.  I have another guy I met, he was just all about the sex.  So casual there was really nothing to talk about.

So I have a guy with a car, who likes to come round for casual sex.  I thought casual was OK, but it wasn’t, nothing to talk about, nothing at stake.  I invite him one last time, I told myself, to help me get some shelves from the Container Store and bring them home.  So, if he comes to the store and screws the shelves together, does he get to screw me too?  Just sayin’!

Sometimes `just sex’ is not enough at any age, not when you’re looking for love, `real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming can’t-live-without-you love’ (Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City).

– Elizabeth Green

Original published in www.girltalkhq.com, June 7, 2021 

British-born author and entrepreneur Elizabeth Green is the sister of well known and controversial billionaire Sir Philip Green. In November 2020, she published her memoir, Not In The Script: The Black Sheep in the Billionaire’s Family. 

Photo: David John West